We Was Robbed...

Sometime between the hours of 11.00 and 17.00 on the 21. January, at least one unknown suspect broke into our kitchen (unlocked) and stole every piece of cheese in our fridge. A half-eaten box of cookies was also reported missing (however confirmation could not yet be made as to whether those cookies were related to the dissapearance of the cheese or a hungry roomate) as well as several cups and plates. One member of the kitchen, a Mr. Chad Robertson, claims to have had no food stolen, thus making him a likely suspect. His statement in regards to the suspicions surrounding him: “I never had any food for anybody to steal.”

Other suspects originally included in the search were anyone of French decent, considering their propensity toward cheese. The suspects, however, left one chunk of cheese at the scene: a popular French cheese, thus cancelling out the liklihood of the French connection.

The suspect appears to be a serial-half-eaten-food-stealer, as both neighboring kitchens as well as a kitchen on the 4th floor have been ransacked for their precious semi-consumed foods.

The Germans do not find the humor in any of the events described or the utter absurdity of the situation however, and a full-scale lockdown has been enforced. All doors are to be closed and locked when not in use. Violators will be yelled at.

Anyone with further information involving this case or others, are asked to contact the owner of this website, who will administer a thoroughly royal ass-whupping.