The First Goodbye
"So that's our first goodbye."
Lori and I had just said goodbye to Jordan and Colleen. They were leaving for Peoria in the morning. New jobs. New apartment. New life.
It was well past dusk as we walked down the Monon. I nodded in agreement. My heart swelled as it does with goodbyes. Where there used to be longing, sadness, sorrow, now there is a bittersweet fullness. Emotion pervades, but without form or definition. It's not tear invoking. Rather it's a sense of being filled to the brim with life, with the sense of being alive. It's beautiful.
That last day was filled with moving Jordan's apartment, or attempts thereof. Colton was there. Lori wouldn't join until dinner. We took that chance to indulge in PA school gossip and remember-whens. Once we had decided that enough moving had taken place, we grabbed a few beers and jumped in the pool. We followed that up with a BBQ dinner. More drinks. Broken rules at the Red Key. Rooftop beers at the Red Room.
In many ways it was the perfect goodbye. There was no sense of the heaviness that sometimes accompanies goodbyes. Nothing forced. We simply enjoyed our time together.
When the time came, I hugged Jordan first. From afar, we were perhaps an unlikely pairing. For starters, I have 13 years on the kid! There's definitely a bond between us though. There's a bond between all 6 of the guys in the program. We're lucky in that sense.
Next, Colleen. We hugged, then added the extra squeeze former lovers do. The squeeze that says I care about you. I want the best for you. Unbeknownst to most, we had dated for a hot minute back in 2017. In fact, her now-boyfriend Jordan was the first person I told about our rendezvous.
Lori and I walked hand-in-hand through the quiet dark. September would be the month of goodbyes. It doesn't feel daunting or depressing. Instead it's the appreciation of having the chance to say goodbye.