The Goodbye Song
Weather: A parting sun leading into a cool evening
CD: “eins und zwei und drei und vierundfünfzig, vierundsiebzig, neunzig, zweitausendsechs, ja so stimmen wir alle ein. Mit dem Herz in der Hand und der Leidenschaft im Bein werden wir Weltmeister sein” - Sportfreunde Stiller
On the Nightstand: Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo - Christiane F.
***Lots of new pictures added Here
It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. I wasn’t supposed to somewhat miss the job once it was over. It was supposed to be a take-the-money-and-run type situation. I’d be there until I didn’t need to be there anymore, then I’d skip out for the next job. And how sweet it was going to be when I finally did skip out — I used to collapse on the couch in utter exhaustion after a long day in the Kitas and tell myself “just two more weeks, then I can get out”.
I wasn’t supposed to stick around, but I did. And I wasn’t supposed to actually acknowledge having fun while on the job. And I wasn’t supposed to start liking the kids. And I certainly wasn’t supposed to drop everything when entering a Kita last week and seeing little Lena in tears - I ran straight to her, picked up a kleenex on the way, and wiped away the tears. And she certainly wasn’t supposed to wipe her eyes, then throw her arms around my neck, prompting the other kids to jump on top of me at any angle they could get.
And I wasn’t supposed to be given a good-bye party from another Kita, complete with ice-cream and music and parents who’d brought me little presents (beer, cactus) while offering me more money to stay in only a half-joking manner. The party was topped off when I was presented with a fold-out card the kids had made with pictures of them holding a sign that says “Thank You Chad”. That card now occupies a rather prominent place on my desk.
It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. But for an entire year of my life, it did.
A couple of weeks ago, Jan and I got to talking about all the little things after a particularly good home-cooked dinner. He turned to me and said “Imagine I came up to you as you were graduating from Kingwood High School and told you how your life was going to unroll up until this point. What would you have said?”. I suppose there’s only one word that really could be said and it would be just as prominent then as it is now. “Unbelievable”.
I am really happy here. I haven’t always been. It’s been hard at times. And lonely at times. And poverty-ness at times. But I’m good now. Really good. My grandmother always told me: “Surround yourself with good people and you’ll be fine”. Grandmothers are pretty smart ladies.
Now I have two months summer vacation. The job search will be in full-swing during that time. As well as a bit of soul-searching. At least I have my options, and options are never a bad thing. Life has taken me this far… just imagine where I could end up next.