Up Around the South Bend
Another road trip. Another trek to another Indiana corner. There are only so many corners in a square-shaped state. We're running out of road.
This trip led north. Past the Chief Menominee memorial and up to the South Bend / Fort Wayne areas.
South Bend brimmed with a sense of renewal. Much of the downtown area had been ripped up and replaced with hotels and convention centers. The parts that hadn't quickly became parking lots. Oh the parking lots! My outsider perspective gives tempered praise to these efforts. The shine can wear thin quickly. The character lost in the demolished buildings cannot be replaced. The change in the city's reputation remains exceedingly positive however.
Some buildings were able to avoid the parking lot fate! The old synagogue, which sits next to the baseball stadium, managed to survive by being transformed into the teams sales and ticketing office! I stood in awe of a rendition of Michelangelo's Creation of Adam featuring a gloved God handing Adam a baseball.
In addition to the renewal, I noticed a sense of entrepreneurship and pride in place. The owner of my airbnb was a local investor who found joy in flipping turn-of-the-century bungalows. We shared enthusiasm in so many of the small details. The local South Bend Brew Werks catered to the artistic side of the city, featuring local artists.
Then there's the University of Notre Dame. The life blood of the city. Having already explored the grounds a few years ago, I hadn't meant to spend as much time on campus. As with most intentions, they didn't measure up to reality. Notre Dame seems like it would be either the best place or the worst place to spend the college years. Ideal for a person who wants to be involved, who wants a sense of belonging. With no fraternities / sororities, campus life depends on residence halls. There is no "in" or "out." Students are "in" by virtue of living on campus. Throughout my campus walk, the communal spirit was overwhelming. For a more independent person, this community could be overwhelming.
I'm not sure how I would fit in to a community like Notre Dame. My 18 year old self would have likely faltered. At that age, I was intent on declaring my independence. Independence from my parents, independence from my upbringing, independence from the world. At 38, I feel satisfied with my independence. I know my place. I know what I'm capable of. I know what I'm not capable of. I could fit in to a community like Notre Dame now, parts of me would thrive, yet other parts would falter. Consider my experience at Butler: Close-knit. Communal. Seventy-five of us living on top of each other. I excelled, yet felt varying degrees of discontent. Sense of community is one of the strongest predictors of personal happiness, yet I maintain a need for individuality and anonymity. Thus, my pursuit of happiness can be extremely self-sabotaging.
The campus was more beautiful than I remembered. Of course, my previous visit coincided with a Texas vs Notre Dame football game. Beverage counts may have influenced my impressions and memory. To that point... how has it been five years since our last visit? When did we get so old?
I found my way into the basilica. My disappointment with my memory increased. How had I not internalized every inch of this splendid building?! The blues. The golds. The choir practicing behind us. I found a pew in the back. There, for the first time, I studied the etiquette required in visiting a Catholic church. Twenty years of travels had centered on visiting cathedrals, yet I never learned when to bow, when to make the sign of the cross. This in contradiction to my every impulse of desiring to learn and experience everything. When entering a synagogue, I make sure to cover my head. When entering a mosque, I am quick to remove my shoes. Yet with my monthly visits to a catholic shrine, I never once knelt before entering a pew.
During this visit, I tapped my right nee to the ground before entering a pew. I touched the holy water. I made the sign of the cross. In so doing, I felt a sense of belonging. The Catholic church is a model for defining the "in" versus the "out" crowd. A sense of envy, anxiety, and desire whistles through the spirit of those on the outside. A sense of community fills the spirit of the insider. But does that lead to contentment? The same could be asked of one's status as a student on the University. My answer, as mentioned above is muddled.